The Lowdown on Lowbrow -- All-Girls Roller Derby

Saturday nights are Date Night for Jae and I. This past weekend we started early by attending a game of Duke City Derby. That's right, roller derby. Jae had gone to a game the month before, when I was out of town. She got a kick out of it, and talked me into going.

When I think sporting event, I think spacious, well-lit space with bleachers. Try bar lighting, bar seating, wood ring in the middle. There were hot dog and pizza vendors outside. Bad beer only inside. A really bad band, the kind that makes up for being bad by being really loud. Although they get points for having a cute cowgirl playing the accoustic base.

We found our first seat at a table where someone Jae knew was sitting. They had chosen their spot partly for its view of the "penalty box." You see, being put in the penaly box involved being put in stocks and spanked by a vinyl-clad, red haired dominatrix, complete with riding crop. She had these great bat tatoos, one on the back of each thigh, showing just below her provacatively short skirt.

The match we saw pitted the Ho-Bots agains the DoomsDames. The players wear ridiculous outfits, and have derby names, the best probably being Molotov Cocktease. My favorite player was Dahmernatrix. She has the size and physical play of a Blocker, but was also her team's best Jammer. Her place in my heart was cemented during the entertainment between bouts 2 and 3. They took the player from each team that had the most penalty points, and made them play roller derby musical chairs. What that meant was that the two women, still on skates, circled a bar stool till the music stopped, and then wrestled for possession of the stool. After some thrashing about on the floor, Dahmernatrix wrapped her thunderous thighs around the stool and took possession.

It was an interesting crowd. It was a mix of rednecks, goth and punk types, dykes, and college kids slumming. Not sure where we fit in.

I was surprised by the amount of strategy involved in the bouts. It took me most of the game to start to follow. One announcer described it as a cross between chess and a riot, which amuses me to no end.

All in all, great fun. We'll be returning next month.